This is a story about how a greiving father and a daughter who missed her own father(me), connected, and how the experience offered comfort and healing to us both.
I remember this time in my life as being filled with a sense of freedom and adventure.
I was living on a river with some friends, for about a month, with my little dog, Raku(I was told raku meant happiness in japaneese..is it true?), a few changes of clothes and a small pack. I loved sleeping under the stars and waking up early in the morning to the cool crisp fresh mountain air. I loved the feeling of the unknown; looking for stray jobs caretaking animals or gardens in trade for food or a little money, walking miles a day everywhere I felt led to walk and just the all around freedom of no thaving any material attachments or obligations, if I did not want them. I treasure that time in my life, because, it engrained in me a sense of knowing that I could survive with , almost, nothing, or start over from, almost, nothing and be ok with it. This proved to be a handy experience to draw on in my life as I was forced to begin over from nothing, in my latter years, a couple of times, and I drew on this experience to help me through those times.

One day while I was walking the 1-2 mile walk in between the two small towns, Garberville and Redway, I noticed a small truck slowing down a bit and looking at me while i walked carrying my little fluffy dog, Raku. I took note of the truck, yet, thought nothing much of it, until, the next day, taking the same walk, I saw the same truck again. This time the man slowed down, even more, and was staring at me. I felt a little uneasy at first, yet, something told me he was safe or he was "ok". A few moments later, the man approached where I was walking from the other direction, so he must have turned around to drive back the other way. Suddenly, I saw him drive slowly up onto the shoulder at a turn off and pull up along side of me. I stopped and looked at his face as he slowly pulled up and saw a kind fo pain in his eyes that moved me and, somehow, I knew he was ok. He asked "I know you may think I am a stranger, and I do not blame you if you don't want to, yet, woudl you like a ride?"
I said "umm no thank you, I love to walk, yet, thanks for the offer."
He looked down and bit his lip and looked back up with tears in hs eyes and asked
"may I please show you a picture of my daughter? I am on my way to donate a scolarship in her name and..God..you look so much like her, I really thought I was seeing things..I really thought..you were an angel. I told my wife I saw our daughter walking down the road a few days in a row and she said I must be seeing things..but you are real.."
He told me he wanted to stop becuse he was on his way, a few times, to donate a scolorship in his daughters name, yet, could not bring hisself to do it. After seeing me, he felt he had received a sign, of some kind, from God, that she was offering him the strength to do so. He continued to tell me, his 21 year old daughter, that looked, almost, identical to me, was married 6 months ago and was 3 mos pregnant. When the daughter and new husband were moving down off the mountain her car went off the side off the road and she was killed, instantly. This was such a close loving christian family...so similar to mine. I began crying and said that..I had been concerned or worried, lately, that my father loved me or was proud of me and, somehow, feeling the love for his daughter helped heal me in some way, in that moment. My own father had been going through some difficult issues with his business and I think I was interpreting his sense of defeat as directed towards me at times. Anyways; We both gained something that day; I was offered a job, counceling, at a christian camp for teens. A place had been left open by his daughters absense..I had a deep revelation about how much my father really did love me, after this man assured me of it. He was insipred to , finially, make the trip down south to offer the scholoarship in his daughters name, and I made a new friend. We both cried and hugged (through the car window) and about a month later, I was walking about 3 hours from one small town up into the hills where my sister Dianne lived, with my little puppy, again, and up on a hill to my right i heard "wait!! wait!"

I looked up and there was this man I had met on the road, about a month before, running down a long driveway. He said "nanci! youve got to come up and meet my wife! Noone believes me..Noone believes I saw you and met you..they think you were a vision!" I saw his wife in the background with her hand cupped up to her eyes , trying to get a focus on me. I said "ok"
I walked up the road and his wife reached out an dhugged me as soon as I reached the top..she welcomed me in..told me the story about how the daughter and her husband were going to move onto the property and the husband had begun to build an addition..yet stopped working on it when her death occurred. She said; " after he met you, he was insipred to finish it so it was a blessing". She showed me pictures, on her mantel, of her daughter, and I could clearly see, we could be twins! They continued to stare at me and somehow I wish I could ease the pain in their eyes ..it just fel tas if they were conforted, yet, I was not their little girl. She was a year older than me. When I went to camp to offer my services as a councelor, Nicole (the young girl who had passed away) had a brother , Jason, who attended the camp. He had been depressed and not talking much to anyone, yet, came up to me and attached hisself telling me he felt somehow he was with his sister..so we bonded , also. The whole experince, I feel, is one of those experinces that is arranged by spirit! It was a blessing that we all connected and help eachother to heal and enriched eachothers lives. 15 years later, when I made a phone call to the mother, she told me that my husband and I taking homeless people in had insipred her and that she had used the addition meant for her daughter to take homeless girls in to help them get on their feet. It is amazing what one hello can lead to..when we trust and open our hearts to the merical of spirit! One smile can heal beyond our imagination. It has been 10 years since I have contacted the family and I think i wll make attempts to do so, in the next month. I wonder; is there even more to the story..I will let you know!

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