Nanci Psychic

 

Blessings borne from the deepest greif (I love you dad thank you for helping me help others)

I will edit this in the next few days. I want to post it before I am too tired to remember :) I want to say it was my fathers dream/project to create an angel hotline for those

in need of inspiriation, right before he pased away. I feel from the other side he assisted me and encouraged me to reach out to others, through my insecurities and fears even while expereincing greif / pain of loss, and I am eternally grateful to have such a wonderful being in my life!
I mentioned, at the end of my last entry, the topic of my next subject, yet, I have decided to write about the beginning of the time of turmoil in my life that catapulted or activated my going within my self to find answers..to reconnect with spirit in a way I had done as a child, yet, let go of or abandoned as my life went on. Maybe I felt I outgrew it or maybe I found less and less time to notice or engage in connecting with spirits whom had crossed over.

I was sensitive, my entire life. I remember laying in my rocking crib when I was under 2 years of age and my father walking by and giving a little push to rock me as he strode off to his room to sleep. I remember my mom saying something to the effect of " Rock her Tony, she may be scared sleeping in the room by herself for the first time.' I did not have my own room. I remember my rocking cradle being out under a shelf in t e living room. I do remember feeling strange being in a new sleeping spot and somehow I sensed my mom and dad's love and empathy for how I must be feeling and I understaood what they were saying. I am talking about this because; I remember , then,like many other times, looking up as i rocked and seeing the familiar spirits or beings I always felt comforted by. I rememebr in addition to feeling safe and loved by my parents, I also, felt safe and loved by my other companions. As I grew older I remember having imaginary freinds, as othe s called them. I still remember what they looked like, their emotions, who they were when they were "alive". also. My older sister , Dianne, noticed I would talk to people that were not there and throughout my young life encouraged me to talk about them and to stay in touch... to believe.

She is still like...my shining star in that respect. She helped me to keep that connection alive! Some time as I approached my teens, all of these happenings intensified...and i remember turning more towards religion..and how people thought the things I saw were evil..and slowly pulling away...wanting to fit in with my peers also. I never lost the ability to talk with those whom crossed over..I had just chalked it up to imaginary freinds..anyways..yet..it seemed to have lied dormant for years as I slid into the responsibilites of adult life.
It was 1996 and I was in my 30s. My mother and father , neice and daughter were planning a road trip from Michigan to californa the next day. There was a kind of anticipation and excitment, yet, a little worry as I saw my dad the dya before and he seemd a little tired. For the last month, every time I had been with my father I had chest pains and a hard time breathing..I also passed out twice. I had been to the hospital with symptoms of a :heart attack" yet, nothing showed wrong with me, yet, I still felt an odd kind of feeling something more was happening. In the past, while going through hard times in my life, I had felt and seen my grandfather with me, as white warm sparkely light, yet, that was the closest I had gotten to experiencing conecting, conciously, with those whom have crossed over.

So back to my story of how I wa smoved to help others connect with thos ewhom have crosed over..So, I was giving my daughter who was about 3, a bath. Suddenly as I was reaching over to pick my baby up out of the bath, I felt a strong urge to trun around and look behind me out onto the hallway. So I did.
When I turned around i think i stopped breathing for a sec because of what I saw and heard. It was not scarey..just extremely overwhelmingly strong energy. I saw..a yellow sparkely light. I FELT my father..I felt it was him..everything about him except his eartlhy body. I heard " Take care of mum, everythign will be ok".

I was shocked and really did not want to believe that this was real..it was too much all at once in that instance to really believe. I wrapped my daughter up and sat on the couch holding her and called my mother..It felt like a dream. The phone rang and rang without an answer so i hung up and kind of sat there for a minute trying to get a sense about what to do next. I picked up the phone, again and dialed. After about 7 rings my mom answered. I did not have to say anything except "Mom?"
She said "Oh nanci! Your dad and I were walking around the block and he fell and I called the ambulance and they are pounding on his chest and I think he is dead!"
No-one is prepared for those words and the emotional greif that follows. Well, I cannot speak for everyone, yet, I just know I was not prepared!
Suddenly my world felt as if it was spiraling down down down..it all made sense..the heart attack symptoms I had been feeling for the last month whenever I was with my father(they dissapeared after he passed away)..and so many other little things like when I had looked at their wedding picture a month earlier I saw an angel behind my dad and began crying for "no reason".
There is so much more to this story, yet, In my greif, over the next two years of wanting to console my family and others whom experienced the same greif, and wanting desparately to feel my father close again, somehow, the ability to hear, see, feel those whom have crossed over flooded back into my life, unexpectedly. That is when I began reaching out to others in greif and assisting them with connecting with their loved ones whom had crossed over.I worked through my greif and tears and confusion, yet, with each person I was blessed to work with, it helaed me just a little more. Now during readings, if someone wants to come through, I do not push it..I am just open and receptive and it it is meant to be..it will happen! This is one example of how healing and blessings are borne from greif. This is a prime example of how devistating losses can transform into new beginnings. it is hard to want to feel joy and blessings when we are so disraught, yet, look up , when you can, there are mericals in the making!

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