my father passed away, I was determined
to keep his love and his ways
alive and strong in my childrens
lives, and in mine too, of course.
We shared memories about funny
times, joyful times and , even,
difficult times and how grampa,
gracefully, handled the situations
to enhance the best outcome. My
hopes were that my children would
have a wonderfuul example of their
grampa and be able to have thier
own stories to tell their children
about this wonderful man!
He had a soft, loving, kind of
grace about him and for a,generally,
big man, I always saw him as graceful.
I did not realize that until now.
There are so many stories about
him while he was alive; Like how
he told me about the 12 angels
he works with and sends to his
children when they are in need
of different things in their lives.
There were, among others; the
"Angel of Wisdom", the
"Angel of Comfort",
the "Angel of Determination",
just to name a few. I remember
being so touched he shared that
with me because; he was not a
big talker, yet, when he did say
things they seemed of the utmost
Anyways, I recalled a story I
love to share with people. I do
not remember dates, very well,
yet, I think it was about 2002,
when my son was living in Michigan.
(I was in California). I woke
up from a short dream and since
I seemed to wake up urgently and
suddenly, I took a minute to just
lay there and ask my self "wow,
what was that all about"?
After gaining a little focus,
I rememebred it was my father,
in my dream.
I, usually, just see his blue
eyes without him saying a word.
This time, he said "Call
J and ask him to look out the
window....he will know why".
At that time in the dream he was
puffing on a long skinny brown
cigar and I smelled that familar
Ok. Now, the thing is; my son
was at the age where he gently
teased or razzed me about "being
psychic" or "hearing
things", lol. I already knew
he had intuition throughout his
life, yet, it wasn't spoken about,
directly, so I knew he was kind
of unsure and uncomfrtable about
it all, and, thats ok! I had to
be myself and hope through the
insecurity he would always love
me, at least, if not accept how
I saw things. I had made a strong
decision too begin offering readings
in 1996, after my father passed
away, because, at that time, the
senses were so intense and the
visions so strong; I knew I was
being asked to share them. It
was a private world, however.
I did not share it as much, with
J, when he was little, as I do
now with my 2 girls, because I
was a full time single parent,
working a 9-5 job and life was
full of obligation and responsibility
to the max. I, also, knew my ex
husband might think I was an unfit
mother if I shared such notions
with his son..so i squelched or
buried that part of life for the
most part. It had to be that way
in order to provide for my boy
and keep him safe and cared for
(and fed). Anyways; thats a whole
other story filled with little
Back to the main story. I sat
up and thought to myself "oh
my gosh, your kidding dad! you
want me to call J? I want to keep
you alive, to keep you involved
in our lives, yet, call J., and
ask him to look out the window
for a few minutes and he will
This is one of those times I felt
What would it be; Put everything,
my whole self, into keeping my
fathers guidance/love alive and
risk my son razzing me or thinking
I am crazy..(or tell my ex who
undoubtedly already felt I was..well..something
other than normal)or perhpas,
I could let this one slide and
wait for an easier task! ha!
I have learned the best results
come from leaping in with all
my heart and soul! If i feel fear..it
is not fear..it is just intense
adrenaline because I am pondering
doing something that is risky.
It was a challenge and I LOVE
those kinds of challenges; ones
that come from the spirit world
and offer inspiration to myself
won't lie, however.
I made some coffee, and checked
my e-mail..building up enough
nerve to outweigh the extreme
adrenaline of calling my son out
of the blue and telling him his
grampa....well, you already know.
So I made the call at about 7:30
in the morning. I am glad teenagers
sleep in late, because J being
in bed ads to how this experience
I called with my heart pounding
and telling myself to remember;
this was about J and grampa; not
me, this was about J and grampa;
not me. Gawd! I can be so dramatic
at times, yet, it makes for good
After lots of rings, a groggy
J answered J: "hello?"
me: "Um..hi J! it is ma..how
J: "tired moooom! it's early,
what do you want?"
I thought "ok..it it's ok..hes
cranky no big deal..he loves you
just say it".
I said something like " Well,
I am tired too and I want to go
back to bed so let me tell you
something really quick. You might
think I am crazy , yet, I don't
care..grampa's words will not
let me go back to sleep until
I say something so let me say
it, to you, so I can go back to
J: "Grampa? Grampa said something?
to me? How..in a dream?"
Then a softness came over him
; I could hear it in his voice.
Everyone had a softness in ther
heart for Grampa.
I asked "is there a window
near you?" I knew he lived
in an old farmhouse and had never
seen it so I hoped the window
was close to his bed so he could
easily look out it without standing.
He said; "A window? come
I said;"ok I am just going
to say it and go back to bed,
J. Grampa came to me in a dream
that felt so real. He never talks
in dreams, yet, he was smoking
a long cigar thing and said to
have you look out a window and
you will know why".
Right at that instant, I remembered
that Jason was questioning many
things in his life..what was important..was
grampa still around..he had some
heavy things going on in his life.
J: "ok ma..I will do it and
call you later."
me: "but..is there a window
near your bed, though?"
J: "Yea MA"
me: "can you see out of it
J: "No, ma, there's shades".
me: "well you have to open
the shades because grampa said
look OUT the window, not at the
J: "MA!! come on..Ok I pulled
up the shades"
me: (releived my part was over)
"Ok good! thanks j! Sorry
to bother you honey..so..talk
to you soon.. i guess".
J: "ok ma, bye, I love you".
me: "I love you too."
wanted to go back to bed, yet,
my adrenlaine was too high from
it all, so I did other things
and wondered if he would call
or if I had made a mistake. But
gosh..dad never spoke tome in
a dream before..to me it was a
These kinds of things are what
make me feel alive and full of
purpose, somehow..maybe because
it helps to inspire and keep loved
ones connected? I, still, am not
sure. Maybe I am misunderstood,
yet, at least; I feel alive! I
feel it is part of my purpose
and we all have a right to that
so I am being true to mine!
About 15 minutes later J called
J: "MA! ok you won't believe
me: "what..yes I will just
I had NO idea what to expect..maybe
he saw a blimp fly by with a message..
lol..maybe a white bird landed
on his window?
So he proceeded to tell me he
did not get out of bed. He sat
up reached up and pulled the shades
up and sat there for a bit..he
saw nothing. Maybe grampa just
wanted J to know he was there
with him..or wanted J to take
some time out to remember him
or think about him.
Anyways; J told me after he sat
there for a bit and he saw nothing
out the window..he smelled smoke
and thought it was wierd so he
turned his head and sitting perfectly
on his shoulder was a line of
ashes ..as if they had just been
flicked off of one of those long
skinny cigar things..he looked
at it and brushed it off and it
smeared on his shirt..I think
that woke him up because he had
excitement in his voice telling
me the story. I will never forget
the excitement and how he called
me back and told me the whole
story and how it doesn't make
sense because where would perfect
line of ashes come from when alls
he did was sit up in bed? We wondered
why gramap would do that and came
to the conclusion he wanted to
let jason know he was still with
him and he could count on grampa
to send his angels, too!
later my husband told me when
J was asked about it..J said..he
made it up..
J said.. "it couldn't have
happend..he did not want to talk
I feel I know better..I believe
One day I will ask J again and
see if he wants to talk about
it..what do you think?
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