After
my father passed away, I was determined
to keep his love and his ways alive
and strong in my childrens lives,
and in mine too, of course.
We shared memories about funny times,
joyful times and , even, difficult
times and how grampa, gracefully,
handled the situations to enhance
the best outcome. My hopes were
that my children would have a wonderfuul
example of their grampa and be able
to have thier own stories to tell
their children about this wonderful
man!
He had a soft, loving, kind of grace
about him and for a,generally, big
man, I always saw him as graceful.
I did not realize that until now.
There are so many stories about
him while he was alive; Like how
he told me about the 12 angels he
works with and sends to his children
when they are in need of different
things in their lives. There were,
among others; the "Angel of
Wisdom", the "Angel of
Comfort", the "Angel of
Determination", just to name
a few. I remember being so touched
he shared that with me because;
he was not a big talker, yet, when
he did say things they seemed of
the utmost importance.
Anyways, I recalled a story I love
to share with people. I do not remember
dates, very well, yet, I think it
was about 2002, when my son was
living in Michigan. (I was in California).
I woke up from a short dream and
since I seemed to wake up urgently
and suddenly, I took a minute to
just lay there and ask my self "wow,
what was that all about"?
After gaining a little focus, I
rememebred it was my father, in
my dream.
I, usually, just see his blue eyes
without him saying a word. This
time, he said "Call J and ask
him to look out the window....he
will know why". At that time
in the dream he was puffing on a
long skinny brown cigar and I smelled
that familar smell..yuk!
Ok. Now, the thing is; my son was
at the age where he gently teased
or razzed me about "being psychic"
or "hearing things", lol.
I already knew he had intuition
throughout his life, yet, it wasn't
spoken about, directly, so I knew
he was kind of unsure and uncomfrtable
about it all, and, thats ok! I had
to be myself and hope through the
insecurity he would always love
me, at least, if not accept how
I saw things. I had made a strong
decision too begin offering readings
in 1996, after my father passed
away, because, at that time, the
senses were so intense and the visions
so strong; I knew I was being asked
to share them. It was a private
world, however. I did not share
it as much, with J, when he was
little, as I do now with my 2 girls,
because I was a full time single
parent, working a 9-5 job and life
was full of obligation and responsibility
to the max. I, also, knew my ex
husband might think I was an unfit
mother if I shared such notions
with his son..so i squelched or
buried that part of life for the
most part. It had to be that way
in order to provide for my boy and
keep him safe and cared for (and
fed). Anyways; thats a whole other
story filled with little stories,
lol.
Back to the main story. I sat up
and thought to myself "oh my
gosh, your kidding dad! you want
me to call J? I want to keep you
alive, to keep you involved in our
lives, yet, call J., and ask him
to look out the window for a few
minutes and he will know why?"
This is one of those times I felt
tested.
What would it be; Put everything,
my whole self, into keeping my fathers
guidance/love alive and risk my
son razzing me or thinking I am
crazy..(or tell my ex who undoubtedly
already felt I was..well..something
other than normal)or perhpas, I
could let this one slide and wait
for an easier task! ha!
I have learned the best results
come from leaping in with all my
heart and soul! If i feel fear..it
is not fear..it is just intense
adrenaline because I am pondering
doing something that is risky. It
was a challenge and I LOVE those
kinds of challenges; ones that come
from the spirit world and offer
inspiration to myself and others.
I
won't lie, however.
I made some coffee, and checked
my e-mail..building up enough nerve
to outweigh the extreme adrenaline
of calling my son out of the blue
and telling him his grampa....well,
you already know.
So I made the call at about 7:30
in the morning. I am glad teenagers
sleep in late, because J being in
bed ads to how this experience played
out.
I called with my heart pounding
and telling myself to remember;
this was about J and grampa; not
me, this was about J and grampa;
not me. Gawd! I can be so dramatic
at times, yet, it makes for good
stories :)
After lots of rings, a groggy J
answered J: "hello?"
me: "Um..hi J! it is ma..how
are you?"
J: "tired moooom! it's early,
what do you want?"
I thought "ok..it it's ok..hes
cranky no big deal..he loves you
just say it".
I said something like " Well,
I am tired too and I want to go
back to bed so let me tell you something
really quick. You might think I
am crazy , yet, I don't care..grampa's
words will not let me go back to
sleep until I say something so let
me say it, to you, so I can go back
to bed too!"
J: "Grampa? Grampa said something?
to me? How..in a dream?"
Then a softness came over him ;
I could hear it in his voice. Everyone
had a softness in ther heart for
Grampa.
I asked "is there a window
near you?" I knew he lived
in an old farmhouse and had never
seen it so I hoped the window was
close to his bed so he could easily
look out it without standing. He
said; "A window? come on maaaa."
I said;"ok I am just going
to say it and go back to bed, J.
Grampa came to me in a dream that
felt so real. He never talks in
dreams, yet, he was smoking a long
cigar thing and said to have you
look out a window and you will know
why".
Right at that instant, I remembered
that Jason was questioning many
things in his life..what was important..was
grampa still around..he had some
heavy things going on in his life.
J: "ok ma..I will do it and
call you later."
me: "but..is there a window
near your bed, though?"
J: "Yea MA"
me: "can you see out of it
though?"
J: "No, ma, there's shades".
me: "well you have to open
the shades because grampa said look
OUT the window, not at the shades".
J: "MA!! come on..Ok I pulled
up the shades"
me: (releived my part was over)
"Ok good! thanks j! Sorry to
bother you honey..so..talk to you
soon.. i guess".
J: "ok ma, bye, I love you".
me: "I love you too."
I
wanted to go back to bed, yet, my
adrenlaine was too high from it
all, so I did other things and wondered
if he would call or if I had made
a mistake. But gosh..dad never spoke
tome in a dream before..to me it
was a big deal!
These kinds of things are what make
me feel alive and full of purpose,
somehow..maybe because it helps
to inspire and keep loved ones connected?
I, still, am not sure. Maybe I am
misunderstood, yet, at least; I
feel alive! I feel it is part of
my purpose and we all have a right
to that so I am being true to mine!
About 15 minutes later J called
back.
J: "MA! ok you won't believe
this".
me: "what..yes I will just
tell me.?"
I had NO idea what to expect..maybe
he saw a blimp fly by with a message..
lol..maybe a white bird landed on
his window?
So he proceeded to tell me he did
not get out of bed. He sat up reached
up and pulled the shades up and
sat there for a bit..he saw nothing.
Maybe grampa just wanted J to know
he was there with him..or wanted
J to take some time out to remember
him or think about him.
Anyways; J told me after he sat
there for a bit and he saw nothing
out the window..he smelled smoke
and thought it was wierd so he turned
his head and sitting perfectly on
his shoulder was a line of ashes
..as if they had just been flicked
off of one of those long skinny
cigar things..he looked at it and
brushed it off and it smeared on
his shirt..I think that woke him
up because he had excitement in
his voice telling me the story.
I will never forget the excitement
and how he called me back and told
me the whole story and how it doesn't
make sense because where would perfect
line of ashes come from when alls
he did was sit up in bed? We wondered
why gramap would do that and came
to the conclusion he wanted to let
jason know he was still with him
and he could count on grampa to
send his angels, too!
Years
later my husband told me when J
was asked about it..J said..he made
it up..
J said.. "it couldn't have
happend..he did not want to talk
about it."
I feel I know better..I believe
it happend.
One day I will ask J again and see
if he wants to talk about it..what
do you think?
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