7-10-08 Moms journey
Mom's Journey Home
Well, this is not, really, one of those particular experiences
about following spirits direction, yet, I wanted to share
one of the most challenging and emotional experiences
in my life. Sometimes, sharing these life altering experiences
can offer comfort and inspiration to others.
How thankful I feel that I was able to be with my mom
when she left her body and began her sacred journey home!
My daughter Nicole and I were able to travel, almost,
3000 miles to be with Mom a few weeks back.
The night before she crossed over I had some time alone
with her , in her hospital room. This was precious time
I feel so blessed to have. I was able to say things to
her and, somehow, I knew she was aware, even though the
doctors stated she was brain dead and was not aware. My
father had passed away a few years back and I felt my
father in the room and let her know I did. I rubbed her
shoulders and said to her " I know how much you miss
dads backrubs so I am going to rub your shoulders. How
does that feel mom?" Even though her mouth hung open
and her eyes remained shut..she took 2 big deep sighs
(twice)and i felt her body relax even more. I did a couple
of silly things that I knew would make her laugh..if she
could laugh! I had some warm comfort tea which she had
liked to use in a hot tub. It is very soothing to her
skin. I gently rubbed a little on her head and arms and
told her this special tea had been blessed by the flower
fairies. I know she would have loved me saying that because
of her love for flower fairies. I gave her a little mowhawk
and said : "haha you have a mohawk" hehe. Then
iI fixed it back..but I know she loved to laugh and just
had to do something silly. We enjoyed the fun times we
had together so much, I hoped that would make her feel
joyful somehow . Then I went through times of my life
I remember that she had great impacts on me...she taught
me how to love and forgive other children that were being
mean..I will always remember that. I thanked her for many
things. I held her hands and kissed her face and hands
all over..I let her know that if any of us could do anything
we would..and I was sorry..and we all were..if she was
uncomfortable at all..Ann, my neice, showed me, the day
before, how to moisten her mouth without making her choke..so
i did that. I also cleaned all of the crusties out of
her eyes the way she did for me when I was little. I was
glad I did that because she opened her eyes and one point
and moved them to focus on me! After laughing and crying
and talking with her (or near her) I finially said: "dad
is here mom..he misses you..he wants to sit in my chair
so I will leave you two alone for now and see you soon!"
I put a blanket over her feet because they felt cold..I
left but ended up coming back for a minute to say bye
one more time..I laid my head on her lap like I used to
when I was little and held her hand and just stayed there
The next day I arrived at the hospital around noon..
my sister Kristina , brother Terry and neice, Faith(sweet
Faith passed over a couple of years ago and I love to
believe my mom was there to meet her)were there. I remember
Faith touching and rubbing grammas legs softly and Faith's
presence was so grounded and strong..I just love her spirit
and am thankful I am in the same family as her!
I really felt my father in the room that morning. I went
near my mom and held her hand and my sister, Kristina,
and I and brother Terry all rubbed her head and said nice
things to her..we told her "all of the kids were
here" and "everyone is here, mom" because
we were if not physically..in spirit..and we all let her
know..its ok to go mom..go have another honeymoon, dad
is waiting! My mom had been lonely in a big way father
my dad passed away and always talked about dancing with
him in heaven one day and I knew they would be dancing
We told mom its ok to go laugh and play and be free! soon
enough..your children will be following you one day..so
do it now while you can hehe.
I think the turning point and a relaxing time for her..because
her bodys energy seemed to change from static to calm
in a sense was when Kristina..the baby of the family,
touched moms head and said: "its ok to go mom..were
grown up now..we will be ok here..I'm sorry it took so
I feel mom needed to hear her baby say those things and
I thought it was so wonderful of Kristina to say those
unselfish things to mama!
Of course, I'm betting we would all rather her not go,
if she had a chance of being healthy and strong, yet,
her brain functions were gone..and she was unable , so
it seemed, to open her eyes or close her mouth at all..
So it seems..her body was done..it was tired..it had fought
the great fight and it was ready to set her free once
again to return home to the father!
Before we all sat down I put my face right up to her
and said "we love you mom..do you know we are here?
Can you let me know?" Then she opened her eyes! she
actually tried to move her mouth up and down to say words
and even though they didn't come out..I know she said
"I love you" to all of us..I heard it in my
head..somehow she communicated that. Then she swallowed!
I said "wow! good job mom wow..you swallowed! then
she swallowed again! Now I know she knew we were there!"
After we all said things to her we just sat down and
I think I said outloud: "wow grampa is here..I can
feel it..I see that yellow sparkely light I saw when he
crossed over". I also saw a vertical band of light
and a rainbow type shape clear whitish light hovering
above mom and I sensed it was her spirit..and sure enough..a
few secs later she took her last breath..I felt she was
happy and joyful and relieved.
I still miss having a mommy to hug :) I felt how much
she missed my dad and I felt the joy when she saw him
again. It was and still is very comforting. I am thankful
for being able to sense these things.
I stayed a little while longer just to look at her and
kiss her because I knew this was the last time I would
be able to in the physical sense.
At the ceremony/gathering for her there was a mixture
of peace and relief she was no longer in pain and intense
emotions...sadness too..but anytime I felt the urge to
cry..I heard my mom say "dont cry nancy! look! Wer'e
I heard this about 4-5 times during the ceremony and
one time it made me chuckle outloud. :)
Thanks mama for teaching me how to love. Thanks for letting
me know you and dad are dancing. Thank you for the dream
I had last night where you came and kissed me all over
my face like I had done for you when you laid in bed.
I love my life here and still have lots of reasons to
be here! Also...I still look forward to the day when I
see you and dad again, love always, Nancy
a movie I made about my mom as I was with her when she